Criminal: I'm Embarrassed

Courtesy of

If you want to keep your name out of the papers, don't do something that'll just draw more attention.
Jack William Pacheco of Chowchilla, Calif., spent this past Wednesday morning buying up every copy he could of the weekly Chowchilla News — which had his face on the front page, along with a story about his arrest for alleged drug possession.
"I have a whole garage full of newspapers," he told the Fresno Bee, which shares ownership with The Chowchilla News.
Unfortunately for him, Pacheco snagged so many copies of the News — between 500 and 600 copies of the 700-copy newsstand distribution — that the paper printed another 500 after regular readers complained.
He also couldn't stop the 550 copies mailed out to subscribers.
Pacheco, 35, was arrested Feb. 17 after drug agents busted into his home in a pricey gated community and found methamphetamine, which he says belonged to the woman who was there to fix the computer.
"It's an embarrassment to my family," Pacheco said. "It's an embarrassment to me."
He insists he paid for every 50-cent copy he took home, meaning he would have spent $250 to $300 on what may have been a fruitless endeavor.
Pacheco said he'll use the newspapers to clean windows and toilet-train his Shih Tzu puppy.